Kabbalah, Hafiz, No Agenda and Soul Meets Body Mood: a-ok Topic: Friends
Kabbalah, Hafiz, No Agenda and Soul Meets Body Current mood: blessed Category: Friends
Just a quote, a few poems by Hafiz and a video today :)
B it's good we talked about stuff last night. Honestly, from my heart, we are on the same page about everything. Really :) Let's just be and let G-d decide the rest. Whatever G-d wants, provides, intends is beautiful. I have no agenda or expectations. I respect your wishes and boundaries and they are also my wishes and boundaries. Love always - however G-d wants that love to look. Friends first, friends last and friends forever. Thank you for being my best friend :)
"when you share your pure thoughts and are willing to say the uncomfortable truths, you feel peaceful and grounded.An important lesson to remember this month is that if you truly care about a person, you should do anything in your power to be open and honest with them. As the kabbalists say: Love without unity isn't love, and unity without love isn't unity." - Yehuda Berg
The Thousand - Stringed Instrument
The heart is The thousand-stringed instrument.
Our sadness and fear come from being Out of tune with love.
All day long God coaxes my lips To speak,
So that your tears will not stain His green dress.
It is not that the Friend is vain, It is just your life we care about.
Sometimes the Beloved Takes my pen in hand, For Hafiz is just a simple man.
The other day the Old One Wrote on the tavern wall:
"The heart is The thousand-stringed instrument
That can only be tuned with Love."
- Hafiz (Sufi poet circa 1320-1389)
I Got Kin
Plant So that your own heart Will grow
Love So God will think,
"Ahhhhh, I got kin in that body! I should start inviting that soul over For coffee and Rolls."
Sing Because this is a food Our starving world Needs.
Laugh Because that is the purest Sound. - Hafiz
Life Starts Clapping
Wherever God lays His glance Life starts Clapping.
The Myriad Creatures grab their instruments And join the Song.
Whenever love makes itself known Against another Body
The Jewel in the eye starts To
Dance.
- Hafiz
Chain You To My Body
All These words Are just a front What I would really like to do is Chain you to my body, Then sing for days And days and Days About God. - Hafiz
Why Not Be Polite
Everyone Is God speaking. Why not be polite and Listen to Him? - Hafiz
My Birthday Party and Happy Birthday B Mood: cool Topic: Friends
My Birthday Party & Flo Rida - Low video & Happy Birthday B Current mood: vibrant Category: Friends
This is a blog about how great my birthday was! Hooray! And it was all because of my friends and being able to share a wonderful evening with them. And also a very sweet reunion after 3 months apart for me and my best guy friend, B. :)
So my actual birthday was Sun, but my party was Sat. night. It has been a long time since I've had an actual birthday party. Usually maybe I'll go out to dinner with 1 or 2 very close friends or maybe have a family dinner. But since I started studying Kabbalah, I have actively been trying to challenge myself as much as possible and getting over aspects of my self consciousness is part of that. So this year I decided to have a karaoke party and to invite people I might feel embarrassed to invite because I don't know them that well yet or who I haven't seen in awhile and then of course I invited some close friends as well. And to make things really potentially challenging I invited my most recent ex, who as anyone who reads this blogs, knows, I still have very deep feelings for.
I prepared myself emotionally for the event by staying positive and reminding myself that the party would be the exact party that I needed to have now ijn order to continue learning and growing and no matter what it would be a fun experience, even if I was the only one who attended. As the party date grew closer, I became more and more excited and used the opportunity to approach people I work I rarely get a chance to speak to and invited them. By the friday before the party, if I worked with you and I hadn't invited you, then it was just because I didn't see you that day.
I wanted to use the party to make everybody who came feel good and to share gifts with them. I bought little things and some chocolates and made party favor treats for everybody. By focusing on my guests and not myself and whether I would have fun, it helped me not feel insecure or nervous like I normally might. It also took my mind off of over obsessing about the fact that B would be there.
Sat morning and afternoon I made last minute preperations, treated myself to a manicure and picked up the birthday cake. While I was out B sent me a cute happy party picture message. It was so sweet and he and I had a nice conversation via text.
Soon it was almost time for the party. I got ready, feeling really happy and excited and still in the postive, sharing place without any expectations. I drove to Boardwalk 11 and a couple early guests were already there, one of my friends names Alex and my good friend Ida. Gradually more people arrived, including B. He gave me a big hug, long hug. He's the best hugger ever. He always gives full hugs that feel like he really connects. Then he sat next me and we talked a lot about a lot of things which are personal and private so I won't go into detail. I also have to say that it felt like it always feels to be around him which I can just describe as right.
Finally everybody was there so it was B, Tina, Ida, 2 different Alexes, Tracy, Louise, Amber, her boyfriend (I am embarrassed I forgot his name) Didi, Sharon and a friend of Sharon's (also need to get her name, sorry) so including me there were 13 of us. It was a great mix of people. B was great. He got up and danced to California Love which was awesome. He's so funny, exuberant and just a great guy and an amazing friend. Yes, sometimes he and I have our differences and misunderstandings, but so does everybody and he was really wonderful Sat night. He halped make my birthday party one of the best birthday's I've ever had and even if he and I never get that opportunity again to feel that connected again, the gift he gave me of just being himself and being relaxed and having a great time is one I will always treasure. Just thinking about him dancing, he and I sitting and being a bit cuddly together and just being together makes me smile every time. I opened the gift he and Tina gave me which he picked out. I was really touched. He gave me an English translation of the Torah, The Five Books of Moses. Thanks so much for the book B. I love it :)
He and I are more than friends. That doesn't mean it has to be romantic or sexual. But we have something so strong, that nothing, not even time or distance apart or anything anybody says can interfere with it. And I am doing my best to have no expectations and to feel certain that the Universe will make it, as with everything, exactly what he and I need. Plus I think he still has a girlfriend and I don't ever want to be the cause of further complications in his life. I am his friend first and foremost. And I love him.
Back to the party. We talked some more. I talked with all my guests. I talked a lot with my friend Louise who I hadn't seen in over a year. At some point Flo Rida's Low came on and B asked me to dance. Hip Hop style dancing is not something I have loads of experience doing so I feolt both happy and self conscious but quickly got over it and had a great time dancing a silly sexy dance with him. It was so fun and I fell in love with him all over again. Some people had to leave and B asked for the cake to be brought back out from the kitchen where the club was keeping it for me. He took me on stage, made a speech and sang happy birthday to me. I made a wish (can anybody guess what it was?) and blew out the candles.
After the cake was shared people had to go. By the end it was B, Tina and I. B sang a Guns N Roses song and a bit later I performed an Evanescence song. The party was over. I had to get home to my doggie, Frankie, B was dead tired and had worked all day and had to work again the next day. B was such a gentleman. He walked me to my car and carried all my packages for me. We hugged and kissed again and he told me to call him if I wanted.
The next day while I was at the movies because that was my solo birthday treat to myself, he phoned and left a Happy Birthday voice mail. I was really touched. I sent him a thank you text and promised to phone him that night. I was really tired. No matter what time I go to bed, I never can seem to sleep in past 7am so after getting to sleep at around 3, I woke up at 7. I took a nap and phoned him at 10, but got his voice mail. I texted him a :) and a happy day b4 the day b4 his bday (his birthday is tomorrow, Happy Birthday B :) I love you!) And I tried phoning him again last night not because I was feeling nervous or sad, but just to say hey and thanks again for a wonderful night.
I know like I said that no matter what he and I will always have the strong, powerful, loving, soul level bond that we share together whether we talk regularly or see each other a lot or not. And anyway separation is only an illusion. No body is ever really apart and we, all of us are one. We just constantly forget that. Of course I hope he and I talk and see each other again soon. But if we don't, I know it's not about me. We all have lives and things we have to take care of. I can't say it enough, thank you everybody who came to my party and a big thank you to B my best guy friend and a super soul mate, B. Thinking about you always makes me smile :) Thanks again for the great book :) Love always xo from my heart and soul :) Happy Birthday for tomorrow! xo xo :)
a-ok
blessed 
cool
vibrant